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Day 20: My First Concert

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photo credit:  luthervandross.com

As today is the 20th of November, it is also Day 20 of Blogember challenge to blog each day during the month of November.

When I think back to my teenage years I recall many concerts that I attended at the amphitheater in the hometown I grew up in - SPAC (Saratoga Performing Arts Center).  As I recall the first one was likely Foreigner .. not particularly memorable.  And there were lots more in the late 70's and through the mid-80's…. The Cars, Asia, Brian Adams, Journey, Doobie Brothers, Jimmy Buffet ….

And yet today the memories rattling round my brain are of a different kind.  Today would have been a dear, old friend's 50th birthday .. he died a few years ago at age 47 due to liver failure.  He and I were married nearly 9 years, and then apart 10 years before he died.

The most memorable concerts I attended were with him.  We saw Luther Vandross together several times - big venue, small venue - each time better than the time before.  He had introduced me to Luther when I first moved in with him - by playing A House is Not a Home.

Seems looking back that life was simpler then.  Although I wouldn't have thought so at that time.  There are many reasons to remember what worked, what didn't work and why things stopped working.  I'd like to think I learned a great deal from our time together.  What I'm most proud of is that I loved with my whole heart.  And when it didn't work any more - we grew to want different things - I was able to stand up and say so.  And then I began again.

We were in touch in the last 18 months of his life.  The best gift he ever gave me was to reach out and connect with me after two big losses in his life.  I lived 900 miles away and had a family of my own - so there was no 'ask' of me.  He wanted to make peace with me.  We were able to recognize through a series of emails that we didn't hurt anymore.  We apologized to each other, and wished each other well. The last email I got from him said, 'enjoy your family…'.  And I do! Very much.  I cherish my husband and daughter - each day.

Today I'll listen to Luther and remember … the concerts, the man who was so important a lifetime ago, and the memories attached to each.  Thank you for making those memories with me.  And allowing me to move on to a new life.

It's like that was the first concert for me.  And now the rest of the tour continues ...

Comments

  1. Mary LongNovember 21, 2013 at 10:57 AM

    What a beautiful tribute to your friend and your past. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JudeNovember 21, 2013 at 5:16 PM

      Thanks Mary! I've enjoyed reading your stories each day .. glad to get to know you through your writing too!

      Delete

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