Run, Laugh, Eat, Repeat

I'm learning to realize that as I age I not only rely on the wisdom I've gained over the years.  I also am more comfortable with who I am, what I believe.  Years ago it was truly important what others thought and how they viewed me.  That approval was something that I depended on to continue on my path.  Putting that dependence into another's hands can be a dangerous practice. I reclaimed that power several years ago.  And now am fully able to embrace it. When others are proud of me or believe in me that is truly an added bonus.  Yet it doesn't sustain me. Now I'm more than okay to trade the glass slippers in for my running shoes.  It feels good to me.  Don't need to brag about it.  Just need to lean into it and embrace it. My circle is much smaller these days.  My husband and daughter are my immediate focus.  And those I work with are there too.  I see these two groups every day.  THEY sustain me. Forget trying to impress the others, try making you

And then I found this mug.  All alone on a shelf in a store I didn't go looking for it.  And it sat waiting for me.  It is a shade of blue that makes me joyful and shares the saying I've been reminding myself for the last several months. Let. it. be. And I shall.

After having a restart on my treadmill plan, getting new Saucony shoes, new socks and even a new FitBit to travel activity .. I'm still stalled!  This time it's dealing with blisters and headaches!  I have developed these awful blood blisters on two toes and it's frustrating me.  I have the medicated pads to use to cushion and treat them .. and still I'm not back up to speed. I'm realizing there are times to just let go.  To allow things to happen in their own time.  And this is one of those times.  There are times to let people go.  And I've done some of that too.  And boy, would the running help ease that issue at this point.  Yet here I am. I read a really great passage lately.  It suggested that Let It Go could really just mean Let It Be.  And therefore there is no action other than to relax and allow the situation to flow through you.  The other concept I've been helping my team remember lately is what is within your control.  There are just so

This one really struck me as I love the feel of my coffee mug in my hand each morning.  As I start the day, this sentiment reminds me that that's really all there is .. Faith, Hope, Love.  And when we are in a place of having all three it can be extremely powerful. And of course I must acknowledge where the mug comes from .. Trust Your Journey !  Just the name is an inspiration on its own.  As I continue on my journey that has led me through tears, laughter, pain, joy and inspiration, I find that trust is a big part of it.  When I continue to be curious and not impatient it helps me with the 'getting there' part.  And isn't that the fun part - the getting there? So as I begin my day with foot pain and continued blisters, I will have faith, hope and love on my journey.  And know that the best is yet to come ...

This one really hit home for me.  For years I've been preaching, BUT I AM A GIRL! How would you like me to do something other than #LikeAGirl?? As the mother of a pre-teen daughter I have been messaging this to her for years.  Instilling in her the belief that she can do anything.  Yes, like a girl!  I encourage her to be who she is and do what she believes in ... and this is such an empowering message for all young girls! Last weekend I got new running shoes because mine were worn out and hurting my feet.  I took her with me to the store.  To show her what it looks like to take care of yourself, believe in yourself and support what's important to me.  I didn't ask her to want to run.  Or take care of herself.  I SHOWED her what it looks like when I do it. And of course you know the next part.  She also wanted a new pair of sneakers.  "Mommy, can I get running shoes too?"  And so I made sure she was fitted and has a supportive new pair.  And a week later s

New in the box! I'm thrilled to have my new FitBit on my wrist.  Finally an app focused on ways to improve my life!  I've found it to be easy to use, comfortable to wear and motivating to just keep going! And I've grown to love the vibration and light display when I reach 10,000 steps for the day.  It's even better when that  happens before noon.  And yet, I'll take it anytime! I'm hopeful that it helps keep me on track and continues to motivate me to reach new goals.  As my best competition is myself, it allows me to monitor and track not only steps, but food, water, workouts and more!  And stylish?  Doesn't get any better than this, right? Perhaps I can even get my husband one to motivate him to take 10,000 steps a day! Day One accomplishments!

I'm thrilled to have my new Saucony this morning to get a few miles in before the rest of the day begins.  They feel good, and better than that my feet feel good too. As I was expressing my excitement yesterday for saying goodbye to blisters and hello to the miles of road therapy ahead, I experienced a big ah-ha.  These miles to me are truly therapy.  And these days I can use it.  I find that I'm constantly reminding myself that each of us is fighting a battle inside.  We don't know of each other's battles.  Yet we know of our own and those aren't always easy ... And as a way to think mine through, I find the miles are like therapy.  Without the validating voice across the room.  That voice is this case is the one in my head.  And the sound of my feet hitting the ground. With each passing mile it seems to provide a clearer path, a more enlightened view of how to deal with all those thoughts.  It's amazing what those miles can do for me.  And now I'

#FindYourStrong My feet have been taking a beating in the new routine of 5am walk/runs.  Having been consistent for the last several weeks to make it 4-5 days a week has caused some awful back pain, and then many blisters on my poor, tired feet! And if I've learned anything - that is a sign of something - and in this case it was a sign to get new running shoes!  I asked the advice of a couple runners and guys with running wives.  They confirmed my thoughts about trying Run On , a local running shop in nearby Murphy.  In my research I found they had lots of great brands and boasted an experienced staff. So off I went .... And very successfully purchased a new pair of Saucony running shoes!  Ellie knew I would be thrilled when my salesperson told me the ones that I preferred best were on sale!  But she couldn't understand how a pair of sneakers could cost $100!  I assured her the value of taking good care of our feet when we hit the pavement.  And of course she wonder

I have been nursing a sore, aching lower back without relief from ibuprofen.  And in my desire to solve the cause, I determined I need to take a few days off from the treadmill in order to get things back in good working order.  It bothered me to have to take a rest.  I didn't like that the momentum I had built was going to lose steam. And then I took a breath.  Was all this worry worth injury?  Or contributing to further injury of my back?  Of course not. So I took the weekend off.  And to be honest did a bit of exploring and walking with my family instead.  We found places in our new city that we hadn't seen before and walked.  By no means am I suggesting that it was a workout, and yet it allowed me to move without the pressure of 'miles to complete'. Sometimes you need to rest. That time for me was this weekend.  And when I got back on the treadmill this morning, I was pain free and able to get my miles in early.  It was worth taking a breath and letting

I approached a new colleague at work two weeks ago with a personal question.  Since I can tell you're in better shape today than the last time your work photo was taken, how are you doing it?  And most importantly in this crazy off-hours work environment, how do you fit it all in? This person was flattered and explained that photo was taken a few years and about 50 pounds ago.  And i heard an answer that I knew I could make work.  "Its all about consistency.  I get on the treadmill every morning at 5am." And with that I knew I could do it too. Find your rhythm.  Do what works for you.  The thing is I have have to do it.  Consistently.  So for the past two weeks I've been up and on the treadmill at 5am.  I found a new series to watch on Netflix to make those miles go by a bit easier. My feet are suffering as I break them back in.  My hips are aching as they're not use to the daily miles.  And yet I know that I'm doing the right thing.  As another bi

So the 30 Day Ab Challenge didn't work out the way I had hoped.  And the routine of getting up to be on the treadmill at 5am each morning has not been consistent either.  No excuse. Let's just say that the Ab Challenge was hard!  And although I haven't done it every day ... I was hit or miss over the weekend, but I have gotten back on the treadmill for my 5am workouts!  That does feel good when it's over - that's for sure! Some times things just don't go as planned. That's called life. And it's how we bounce back that matters most.

Today is Day 6 of the 30 AB Challenge, and I am proud to say that I have completed each and every day without fail!  I had wondered about my commitment to the program and in my ability to add more sit-ups and crunches each day, and yet I'm nearly a week in and it's working! Additionally, I'm back to the treadmill as well.  Yup, I am! After talking to a co-worker about how do you fit everything in with such a busy workday, he confided that if he didn't get up and on the treadmill at 5am he didn't get it done.  So that helped me change my mindset.  Set the the alarm for 4:50 and get on the treadmill by 5am. And I'm now into Day 3 of that as well.  Although that's not an official challenge, it feels as though I've committed to making it work.  And once there is a path to success I'm sure to stay on it!

Yes, I'm in. Yes, I'm still committed. Yes, it hurt the second day. What I love about the 30 Day Ab Challenge is that it starts slowly with small numbers, but progresses quickly into heavy sit up and crunches!  Yowza! My eight-year old daughter couldn't imagine not being a part of things, so she's on the floor each evening with me as we make our way through the challenge.  She was very proud of herself when she asked her father how long he could plank, and he didn't know what a plank was! I'm looking forward to the rest days, and she's looking forward to each evening we get to complete the challenge together! Here's to teamwork, and getting it done! Us on the floor after Day One!

Here's the link to the FB page featuring the above challenge. No, it's not my challenge.  Although I am prepared to participate!  Yes, you heard it here.  I'm doing it.  Might have something to do with the fact that it begins the day AFTER my birthday.  UhhFFT!  I'll need some motivation to continue my fitness journey .. especially marking off another year! Perhaps it's your time to participate too!  I'll post progress reports so I'll not only be accountable, but will also have someplace to keep track of how I'm feeling. 30-Day Ab Challenge - here I come!

This morning I woke to a funk.  Yes, mine.  Reasons to me were relatively clear.  Relationships in my life that are not working.  Lingering fear.  Dissatisfaction in my primary relationship.  To be honest seems like the same stuff that's been hanging on for the last six months. Today felt heavy.  Too heavy for a holiday. How do I push through it?  Cause it seems that I'm unable to go around it. Again. A holiday means every one is home with me.  So solitude is not really the answer.  But writing is. So how did I get out of an epic funk this morning.  I got honest with myself.  And I cried.  Cause feelings hurt.  And people disappoint.  Yet somehow, someway life moves on. I got honest with myself by writing about it.  Detailing what was troubling me into this place and what I saw as the way out.  I gave myself permission to be honest.  Even though it wasn't simple or fascinating.  And after I was honest, I visualized what happiness would look like again. It to

So yesterday was the first day at the new job ... came with lots of trepidation and angst.  New drive, new place to park, new people ... EVERYTHING is new!  So I embrace the change - and dive into the newness of the whole thing! I CAN DO THIS! And I did! It was awesome ... and exhausting.  And yet this morning I got up early and ran my two miles already!  And then experimented with a new smoothie.  What is going on, right?  It feels good.  To have a the run behind me and ready to face the day! Ripe mango, diced two carrots, shredded apple, diced flax seed grated ginger water Running, making smoothies ... and exhausted at night.  This is a good combination! More to come ...

With this being our first weekend at the new house in Texas, I thought it appropriate to begin again.  On lots of fronts.  Eating, running, meditation, you name it - it feels new to me!  My new job starts tomorrow - which is new people, new responsibilities, new route to the office and much more! Here's what I know for sure: 1)  I feel better when I work out regularly 2)  I feel even better when I combine that with lots of water and clean eating So if I know that much, why haven't I committed to it completely?  Oh that!  Well let's just say life is a series of beginnings, of decisions that are made daily - and often for me, moment to moment! This weekend I filled the house full of healthy fruits, veggies and lean meats and whole grains.  The family seems pleased and even complimented me on such a colorful dinner last night!  This morning, Mother's Day - I got the Nutribullet out and combined my veggies for a green breakfast! handful of baby spinach 1/2 c

And now the second book that has helped me on my path .. 10% Happier by Dan Harris is his experience with meditation.  He is humorous, witty and truly honest.  It makes my meditation practice feel much more normal than I expected.  He's got a voice that reminds me that none of this is perfect.  What matters is that we keep going. Interesting, that's what I learned through Carry On, Warrior.  Common theme ... And the real life changer for me was the discovery on my phone to enable my meditation practice.  I have a timer!  Who knew!  Apparently everyone else but me.  Great thing is, now I'm using it during my meditation.  I began setting it for five minutes the first few days, and then moved to 10 and now 15 minutes.  I have the timer set with the "Twinkle" chime which is not disruptive, but gently reminds me that the time is now complete. The first time I used it I set for five minutes, closed my eyes and took a breath.  Within seconds I wondered would the

How do you stay on track? With your running?  With your clean eating?  With maintaining kind relationships? OH, are you challenged with that too?  Glad I'm not alone.  The key is to find your way back to the path as soon as you realize you are off track.  Sometimes that's not the easiest thing to do.  And yet completely worth it. Here's my recent realization about getting back on track.  I've done a lot of work recently in the Carry On, Warrior space - with my marriage.  And it's payoff in spades.  Truly amazing!  Although I can say that the first weekend that things went awry I thought, "you've got to be kidding me - I'm working hard here!"  And I took a deep breath.  And carried on.  Realizing that sometimes it's not going to be easy keeping it on track all the time. So today as the movers arrived and the house is in chaos we are not in complete agreement about certain elements of the pack.  Not a big issue you think, right?  Well

As a follower of Glennon Doyle Melton's blog Momastery , I couldn't resist sharing her message from today - April 28, 2014.  And now to the task of figuring out what my hard thing is ... I'm sorta afraid I have lots of hard things that could use taking care of.  Is today the day for all of them? Here's some hard things on my list: 1.  Purge the junk drawers. 2.  Forgive 3.  Say goodbye to an unhealthy, unproductive relationship that is causing me angst 4.  Be still. 5.  Accept where I am.  Right this minute. One of those require physical labor and the others, although all in my head - are very hard.  And isn't that the reason to get them done today.  The best part is that I CAN DO HARD THINGS!  I do them everyday ... and more than likely with a smile on my face.  Although sometimes its a grimace and even sometimes a tear. My hard things are not other people's hard things.  They are my journey.  My hard things to do.  And the sense of accomplishm

We have quite a bit going on as a family these days.  We're getting ready to move our lives from Illinois to Texas in a matter of two weeks.  And these days are filled with preparation on both ends to ensure that we move in one piece and as unscathed as possible.  There are things like jobs, school, household items, cars, houses on both ends, and all the coordination it takes to make it happen.  Oh, then throw in that wonderful husband's travel schedule has imploded and he's been on the road for three weeks straight.  Not to worry - I can do hard things! And I will continue to do them. So when he was back home for the weekend I was pleasantly surprised when he suggested that we all get outside on Saturday and walk the trails of the local park.  We did four miles together.  Our daughter on her scooter a safe distance ahead of us and us enjoying the scenery and talking on and off about the move. It was wonderful.  The weather was perfect.  The mood was terrific.  An

this is what my answers would be ... and a few more for the road .... 1. What is your favorite word?  Exponentially 2. What is your least favorite word?  Hard. 3. What sound or noise do you love?  Husband's and daughter's laughter. 4. What sound or noise do you hate?  Squeaking. 5. What is your favorite curse word?  One I can get away with .. usually sh*t. And a few more for the fun of it ... 1. Favorite show on television?  Newsroom 2. Favorite movie?  Hard to name just one:  Moonstruck. 3. Favorite Book:  Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton 4. What are you grateful for today?   Loving husband, amazing daughter, awesomely awesome friends 5. If you could have anything put on a t-shirt what would it be?  Brave. 6. Favorite meal? that's easy - steak, baked potato and asparagus 7. A talent you wish you had?  Patience.  Is that considered a talent? 8. Favorite song/band?  Sara Barielles  9. What’s on your nightstand?   Journey to the Heart b

At least for today, this is what I know for sure.  As sure as the sun rises in the morning after a difficult  night of sleep, these are what I feel in the depth of my heart. I know that when my daughter unprovoked says, "I love you, Mom," it fills me with the very best joy - and a spark of "I can do anything now," runs through me! I know that even at the end of a 'bad' day, that if I 'write it out' before I sleep I have a good chance of having a much better experience the following day. I know that when my husband says 'thank you' for things I do without hesitation for our family, it reaches my heart and assures me that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I know that when I see an animal in nature that I don't commonly see, I get excited every time!  This weekend I spotted both a pair of pheasants and a beaver.  Each filled me with wonder and I know for sure that I've taught my daughter to be as excited as me.

my personal copy - held close to my heart, and lovingly given to a friend within 12 hours of completion because I didn't want her to miss a moment of being able to know she's a warrior too! I can't tell you the last time I was so eager to read a book AND when I finished I was even move thrilled than the anticipation of starting.  Glennon Doyle Melton's Carry On, Warrior changed my life.  It grabbed me by the heart and held me close as to ensure I was listening - no, really LISTENING! I haven't laughed or cried so hard in a long time - and not at the same time.  Well sometimes the laughter led to tears, good tears.  And sometimes the tears were recognition that Glennon was describing me - my struggles, my challenges, my hopes and dreams.  And then she offered me a hand to grab onto through the book.  A path to follow as I make my way through my own messy, wonderful life. What's wonderful and frustrating is that as she described things, I realized this h

My latest inspirational blog, Liz Lamoreux has a post today entitled:   poem it out . .. which is a great transition to my favorite poem.  I found it many years ago and made tons of cardboard bookmarks with words to share with others. It's again appropriate for the change happening in my life right now.  Changes I've asked for, accepted and am in the middle of making.  Change that involves risk, setting sail and finding comfort in a new shore. Spoon River Anthology  by Edgar Lee Masters George Gray I HAVE studied many times The marble which was chiseled for me-- A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor. In truth it pictures not my destination But my life. For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment; Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid; Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances. Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life. And now I know that we must lift the sail And catch the winds of destiny Wherever they driv

Don't ask where I found Liz Lamoreux because I'm not quite sure.  From a link on another blog, through Pinterest or maybe Brene Brown ... I just don't recall.  And honestly it doesn't matter.  She's a gift.  She writes this blog with advice about being present, being me, trusting your heart ... all the things that we need to be reminded each day .. sometimes throughout the day! She has a shop on  Etsy  where I found this item called, 'a mystery soul mantra chosen just for you' in the form of a metal tag on a necklace.  I'm all about believing there are no mistakes, so I knew that whatever she chose for me would be the 'right' thing. The package arrived today with wonderful cards inside that I will use as bookmarks and reminders on my nightstand to see each day.  They say, 'trust your heart,' 'open up and live,' and even 'dear beautiful soul may you give yourself the gift of five breaths, may you stand tall in the trut

Baseball Season opened this week! Lots of changes require tremendous fortitude this week ... Argan oil is the most amazing thing for my hair! Chaos ensues as we make another family move to another part of the country.  Few understand ... but it's 'normal' for us! Love, love, love this cabinet!  It was in the model home where we bought our house!

Many words of encouragement have been shared with me as I embark upon this next leg of my journey.  Brave, courageous, fearless are the most positive ones people have mentioned.  Yet there are times throughout that I don't feel quite so strong. Yesterday I watched a Brene Brown show on OWN and she spoke to the vulnerability of living.  In her book Daring Greatly she shares that vulnerability is the keystone to living a life more fully engaged.  This has been a practice that I've been living for several years now.  Mind you, this doesn't mean crying in public, but allowing myself to ask for help, to not have to shoulder the entire burden by 'pretending' to be strong. I admit that this is scary.  I feel that this new adventure is unknown and with the excitement also comes fright.  By not allowing myself to live in a place of fear, but to feel the emotion and find ways to move through it have helped to feel more true to myself. Vulnerable. Yikes, that'

Change comes at a price.  The price of leaving behind feelings, experiences, people, places and habits that may have served you very well for a time.  And then that time is over.  Then it is time to move on and find new people, places, feelings and experiences. Sometimes there is a distinct line when that change happens.  Like a move - when I drive away from the house and again when I begin my new role at work.  And other times things change gradually over a period of time.  Or maybe they've been changing for a while, and the notice of that change happens suddenly. It's all change. That change is hard.  It forces one to embrace the newness, the unknown, the untested waters.  It brings with it the promise of opportunity, and the sadness of an ending.  Those endings are always necessary but rarely easy. This is what I know. Change is inevitable.  The world, our lives are in a constant state of change.  Those changes are not always easy to embrace - even when self-im

Old standbys - Saucony - I have 4 pair in the same style in various stages of wear! Nothing better than my coffee and my book in hand! Sometimes you can convince yourself just by being BRAVE! "She was living her purpose…." My iPod for running - "Run Mommy Run.  Love you."

I was going through a couple old journals today in search for some information.  There is an adventure in my near future involving a relocation to another state, region of the country and job/role/responsibility.  I'm excited, scared, proud, eager, and sometimes even anxious all at the same time. Perhaps I should cut out caffeine for a while.  At least until after the move.  Nah, what fun would that be? As I perused one of these journals I found a list I'd developed entitled, "Personal Commandments."  Some of them still completely fit.  Do they all still make sense?  Are there others that should be added? I thought it would be a great accountability exercise to list them right here.  And get in the practice of revisiting them to review.  At this point I developed the list about 2 1/2 years ago. And in no particular order: Sow a good seed. Do the right thing. Do it for me. Let it go. Be Jude at 100%. Breath in, breath out. Listen more. Jus

Sometimes I find that I get distracted.  I choose to focus on something that keeps me from something else. Those are choices I've made that impact other things.  At the time the outcome of those choices is not always known.  Isn't that the interesting part though? My choosing to work on my writing on my experimental blog, I find that I haven't been focused on writing here for my health.  What I have been focused on is my mental health.  Seems like that should be an ongoing exercise, like running, doesn't it?  But sometimes things come to a head and I find I need to make a decision.  To go left or go right.  Otherwise I'm stuck in a dead end.  A place, a behavior, a relationship that isn't going anywhere anymore. That's when I need to find a map.  A suggested course of action in order to make that turn.  Through that process I've discovered some great resources online, and increased by to-read book list tenfold!  One at a time - that's the onl

I've been on a good stretch the last 2 months .. of running, meditating, stretching, reading and even practicing patience!  It seems to be making a difference in many areas of my life.  Yet I have to admit that there are times that I get down .. when I feel an injury that prevents me from running, when I experience anxiety, when I feel frustrated that life gets in my way and I'm unable to accomplish what I want …. And I've found my best defense is faith.  Faith that it will be alright.  It will work out exactly the way it's supposed to.  And it always does. In the moment it takes a bit of reminding and redirecting to get me back on that path.  Sometimes the situation in the moment is frustrating or discouraging.  What I've found it takes to get past all that is faith .. and a deep breath.  At the end of a deep breath - a big smile.  Because through that little exercise the reality of the situation reveales itself and it's really not all that bad. I hav

Sometimes things just hit me like out of the blue and I wonder why didn't I think of that sooner!?  And after the realization settles in I'm at such peace.  This has happened several times recently at work with all the lessons I've amassed over the last 8 months of a project that is coming to a close.  I honestly didn't realize that I learned so much, or that I was actually putting those lessons into action. I find that I evolve at an interesting rate.  Sometimes it feels as though nothing changes, and other times it's like I don't even remember how things used to be.  And all the while I've maintained that I just need to be myself.  Although I've changed over time through the lessons, the core of who I am remains the same. And that's a great feeling.  To not have to turn myself inside out to fit.  It not only allows me to be authentic, but feels so true deep inside.  I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I know how to say it as to not evo

This was a real eye-opener today.  This message that I received from Brave Girls.  It reminded me that everything I go through is to teach me.  And some things are harder to learn than others.  Seems rather silly not to know that doesn't it?  Apparently I needed to be reminded.  Because after I read this, the entire landscape changed.  Or did the eyes in which I was looking change?  Doesn't matter.  I kept going, and it felt good! Your daily truth from the Brave Girls Club Dear Wonderful Girl, Someday you will understand. You really will. Someday you will understand why you had to learn things the way you had to learn them, why you had to have certain people in your life, why things had to be so hard sometimes. Someday you will understand the way things fell together, the way you were rescued from catastrophes in funny and miraculous little ways. Someday you will understand how you were never, ever alone...even though you felt alone so many days. Someday

Is there a place in my life where self-doubt has taken over?  Perhaps not taken over but continues to rear it's ugly head and cause discomfort?  Not an uninteresting question, that's for sure. Self-doubt. My inability to be confident in me being enough.  My being accepted. From the opposite side of that coin is - not being enough and not being accepted.  Those are so scary to think about - and yet I'm pretty sure it's what holds me back from opportunities, conversations and perhaps even joy. It's fear.  Isn't that what self-doubt is .. fear of not being viewed as I see myself.  And yet when does the rest of the world no longer matter?  As it is likely that everyone must be challenged in some way or another with this self-doubt. How can I work through being enough?  Who am I afraid I am not enough for?  Does that person/people matter?  Will that change my behavior?  Make me want to do things differently?  To be honest, 'no' it won't. S

There is something to be said for the making of new friends at this age in life.  Not that I'm saying I'm old, I'm just saying that it doesn't happen as easily as it used when I was younger.  Seems like when we were back in school things were simpler.  You saw the same people every day, all day long and you had that in common. Today we make friends at work, yet many times that ends when the work day ends.  People have other commitments and family that take time and attention which don't allow for the same type of social life. Yet there are times when a new person just clicks with you.  Or better yet a new group that you just fall into without hesitation.  That real connection is something to be treasured.  It's the ability to make new friends as an adult, with adult conversations. There conversations can lead you places that validate you and sustain you.  They connect you to the world of people with similar roles as you:  parent, spouse, sister, daught

That was my mantra for quite a while.  But that was many years ago.  When I was plagued with anxiety and loneliness.  I had myself convinced that the only thing within my control was my breath.  And somehow that worked.  I would repeat, "breathe in, breathe out," over and over.  Reminding myself that was the only thing that mattered. Isn't that strange? Because you don't have to remind yourself to breathe!  But by focusing there it allowed whatever anxiety was troubling me to settle down. It still works.  Although the anxiety is not the same.  But it's still a good reminder for me to remember what is within my control. I have a long list of things that are NOT within my control: Timing Other People The weather Flights being on time The power going out These are huge things to not be within my control.  And yet somehow I manage.  I'm still breathing, I'm still smiling.  Funny how that works.  But it does.  Every. Time. Things have a wa

"When you love from a place without expectation, it changes the world. When you love from a place of selfishness, it changes you."  ~ me I learned the difference today.  By sending light and love, healing and hope, from a distance without knowing the circumstances.  It changed the way I saw love. It was healing.  And that's just what I experienced.

When I am expecting something to happen, I experience anxiety.  This anxiety settles in my shoulders, in my chest and in my core.  I find I need to release that anxiety differently than I have in the past.  Sometimes a small prayer of thanks releases it.  Other times I need to meditate it out of my body.  Wise words were shared with me recently that explained anxiety as being attached to the future.  Being anxious about something that is going to happen. When I bring myself back to the present, it helps release that anxiety by focusing on the present.  My breathing, being grateful, no expectations only gratitude for this moment. And sometimes it really works.  It feels so much better than the pressure I put on my body in holding on to those emotions.  Wow!  Release … it feels like a miracle… the ability to send that anxiety off in its own little bubble… into the air. Another way I find I'm able to center myself is by asking the question, "what's the worst thing t

I have a wonderful habit of making up details of how things will turn out even when I have no idea what the truth actually is … or how it actually unfold … Does everyone do this same thing?  I've heard others say that when people are not given enough information, they make up the parts that they don't know.  Just so they have an answer.   And this is completely along the same lines. When you expect a phone call and it doesn't come you're pretty sure that person has driven off the road and is in a ditch somewhere.  Or maybe I'm the only one who does that.  I assumed all these years that it was my impatience that was the culprit here.  But perhaps it's my desire to know the rest of the story.  To have the details.  To put the pieces together in my mind until they make sense. My mind works that way.  It wants things to make sense.  Perhaps not always logically, but to have a sequence - an order that allows a synchronized flow.  And when the information t

I find myself in an interesting situation where we are snowed in with over nine inches of new snow and sub-zero temperatures and fierce winds.  Sunday was all about making soup, bread and roasting vegetables for the week.  I didn't venture outside whatsoever. And then the call came that the area is pretty well shut down on Monday.  School, public buildings, even my place of employment … a bonus day!  An extra day to the weekend that comes without an commitment or obligation to complete anything.  Now that's not something that happens all the time - rarely is more the case. What do I do with this new bonus day?  I'd only imagined that these days would be granted in the past. And now I have one upon me.  Oh, the opportunity for adventure .. well, that is, adventure that must take place within my home. There's all those books I could make progress on, my knitting, spending even more 'weekend' time with my daughter … all those choices. Choices are funny