Run, Laugh, Eat, Repeat

I've been on a good stretch the last 2 months .. of running, meditating, stretching, reading and even practicing patience!  It seems to be making a difference in many areas of my life.  Yet I have to admit that there are times that I get down .. when I feel an injury that prevents me from running, when I experience anxiety, when I feel frustrated that life gets in my way and I'm unable to accomplish what I want …. And I've found my best defense is faith.  Faith that it will be alright.  It will work out exactly the way it's supposed to.  And it always does. In the moment it takes a bit of reminding and redirecting to get me back on that path.  Sometimes the situation in the moment is frustrating or discouraging.  What I've found it takes to get past all that is faith .. and a deep breath.  At the end of a deep breath - a big smile.  Because through that little exercise the reality of the situation reveales itself and it's really not all that bad. I hav

Sometimes things just hit me like out of the blue and I wonder why didn't I think of that sooner!?  And after the realization settles in I'm at such peace.  This has happened several times recently at work with all the lessons I've amassed over the last 8 months of a project that is coming to a close.  I honestly didn't realize that I learned so much, or that I was actually putting those lessons into action. I find that I evolve at an interesting rate.  Sometimes it feels as though nothing changes, and other times it's like I don't even remember how things used to be.  And all the while I've maintained that I just need to be myself.  Although I've changed over time through the lessons, the core of who I am remains the same. And that's a great feeling.  To not have to turn myself inside out to fit.  It not only allows me to be authentic, but feels so true deep inside.  I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I know how to say it as to not evo

This was a real eye-opener today.  This message that I received from Brave Girls.  It reminded me that everything I go through is to teach me.  And some things are harder to learn than others.  Seems rather silly not to know that doesn't it?  Apparently I needed to be reminded.  Because after I read this, the entire landscape changed.  Or did the eyes in which I was looking change?  Doesn't matter.  I kept going, and it felt good! Your daily truth from the Brave Girls Club Dear Wonderful Girl, Someday you will understand. You really will. Someday you will understand why you had to learn things the way you had to learn them, why you had to have certain people in your life, why things had to be so hard sometimes. Someday you will understand the way things fell together, the way you were rescued from catastrophes in funny and miraculous little ways. Someday you will understand how you were never, ever alone...even though you felt alone so many days. Someday

Is there a place in my life where self-doubt has taken over?  Perhaps not taken over but continues to rear it's ugly head and cause discomfort?  Not an uninteresting question, that's for sure. Self-doubt. My inability to be confident in me being enough.  My being accepted. From the opposite side of that coin is - not being enough and not being accepted.  Those are so scary to think about - and yet I'm pretty sure it's what holds me back from opportunities, conversations and perhaps even joy. It's fear.  Isn't that what self-doubt is .. fear of not being viewed as I see myself.  And yet when does the rest of the world no longer matter?  As it is likely that everyone must be challenged in some way or another with this self-doubt. How can I work through being enough?  Who am I afraid I am not enough for?  Does that person/people matter?  Will that change my behavior?  Make me want to do things differently?  To be honest, 'no' it won't. S

There is something to be said for the making of new friends at this age in life.  Not that I'm saying I'm old, I'm just saying that it doesn't happen as easily as it used when I was younger.  Seems like when we were back in school things were simpler.  You saw the same people every day, all day long and you had that in common. Today we make friends at work, yet many times that ends when the work day ends.  People have other commitments and family that take time and attention which don't allow for the same type of social life. Yet there are times when a new person just clicks with you.  Or better yet a new group that you just fall into without hesitation.  That real connection is something to be treasured.  It's the ability to make new friends as an adult, with adult conversations. There conversations can lead you places that validate you and sustain you.  They connect you to the world of people with similar roles as you:  parent, spouse, sister, daught

That was my mantra for quite a while.  But that was many years ago.  When I was plagued with anxiety and loneliness.  I had myself convinced that the only thing within my control was my breath.  And somehow that worked.  I would repeat, "breathe in, breathe out," over and over.  Reminding myself that was the only thing that mattered. Isn't that strange? Because you don't have to remind yourself to breathe!  But by focusing there it allowed whatever anxiety was troubling me to settle down. It still works.  Although the anxiety is not the same.  But it's still a good reminder for me to remember what is within my control. I have a long list of things that are NOT within my control: Timing Other People The weather Flights being on time The power going out These are huge things to not be within my control.  And yet somehow I manage.  I'm still breathing, I'm still smiling.  Funny how that works.  But it does.  Every. Time. Things have a wa

"When you love from a place without expectation, it changes the world. When you love from a place of selfishness, it changes you."  ~ me I learned the difference today.  By sending light and love, healing and hope, from a distance without knowing the circumstances.  It changed the way I saw love. It was healing.  And that's just what I experienced.

When I am expecting something to happen, I experience anxiety.  This anxiety settles in my shoulders, in my chest and in my core.  I find I need to release that anxiety differently than I have in the past.  Sometimes a small prayer of thanks releases it.  Other times I need to meditate it out of my body.  Wise words were shared with me recently that explained anxiety as being attached to the future.  Being anxious about something that is going to happen. When I bring myself back to the present, it helps release that anxiety by focusing on the present.  My breathing, being grateful, no expectations only gratitude for this moment. And sometimes it really works.  It feels so much better than the pressure I put on my body in holding on to those emotions.  Wow!  Release … it feels like a miracle… the ability to send that anxiety off in its own little bubble… into the air. Another way I find I'm able to center myself is by asking the question, "what's the worst thing t

I have a wonderful habit of making up details of how things will turn out even when I have no idea what the truth actually is … or how it actually unfold … Does everyone do this same thing?  I've heard others say that when people are not given enough information, they make up the parts that they don't know.  Just so they have an answer.   And this is completely along the same lines. When you expect a phone call and it doesn't come you're pretty sure that person has driven off the road and is in a ditch somewhere.  Or maybe I'm the only one who does that.  I assumed all these years that it was my impatience that was the culprit here.  But perhaps it's my desire to know the rest of the story.  To have the details.  To put the pieces together in my mind until they make sense. My mind works that way.  It wants things to make sense.  Perhaps not always logically, but to have a sequence - an order that allows a synchronized flow.  And when the information t

I find myself in an interesting situation where we are snowed in with over nine inches of new snow and sub-zero temperatures and fierce winds.  Sunday was all about making soup, bread and roasting vegetables for the week.  I didn't venture outside whatsoever. And then the call came that the area is pretty well shut down on Monday.  School, public buildings, even my place of employment … a bonus day!  An extra day to the weekend that comes without an commitment or obligation to complete anything.  Now that's not something that happens all the time - rarely is more the case. What do I do with this new bonus day?  I'd only imagined that these days would be granted in the past. And now I have one upon me.  Oh, the opportunity for adventure .. well, that is, adventure that must take place within my home. There's all those books I could make progress on, my knitting, spending even more 'weekend' time with my daughter … all those choices. Choices are funny

I watched the movie Perks of a Wallflower on Saturday night.  It was a haunting reminder of high school and how I didn't fit in.  It was sweet, honest and cut to the core of what happens when one feels alone.  Alone in a way that you are convinced that no other soul could possibly identify with.  And yet, it seems there must be so many of us that have felt that.  Especially back then. What about adulthood?  What about when you have a mortgage and a career, even a spouse and children.  Are there times it is acceptable to feel like you don't fit in? Whether it's acceptable or not, it  happens.  There are times when I'm sure I'm the only one who could possibly be feeling the way I do.  Left out.  Alone.  Hiding even. And those are times of perseverance and tremendous growth.  They are times when I need to reach deep within and listen to my heart.  My gut even.  Although that works best for initial reactions.  I try to  find time each day to listen to the quie

Did you ever have one of those moments where you're joyful, on the inside - where it counts, and you cannot for the life of you put your finger on why you feel that way?  That's exactly how I've started today. I feel lighter.  Happier.  More whole.  Does that even make sense?  Maybe it doesn't, but I feel it! I'm racking my brain to figure out what happened yesterday, last night or during my sleep .. and yet I didn't make a conscious choice to feel this way, it just happened.  It is joy.  That's it.  I can feel it.  It's calm, it's peaceful, it's a feeling rooted in joy - way deep inside! Yes, I ran today.  That may be part of it.  And better than that (at least for me in an achieving goals sort of way) I have had two terrific weeks of running.  Through today I have 12 miles logged fro the week - with tomorrow a potential 4 mile run.  And last week was a total of 18!  I've come a long way … and I have a long way to go. This runnin

There are days that I'm really hard on myself.  My expectations are set so high to accomplish so much within an inadequate time period.  And yet, I continue to expect more. One of my observations of late is wondering what things would look like if people were kinder to each other.  I continue to focus on the kindness expressed by others, and to look for opportunities to do the same.  And I realize that I should start by being kind to myself. What would being kinder to myself look like? Kinder to myself as I age and things don't seem to work like they used to?  Kinder to myself in my self-imposed expectations - for work, for motherhood, for fitness goals?  All of the above! I'm choosing to be kinder to myself through a daily meditation.  As I begin each day I pray, I meditate, I breath deeply in the same place, at the same time.  I began over the past couple days to incorporate this meditation which I will now look at as the opportunity to be kinder to myself:

Oh, how apropos this morning to have my topic be the strategy for getting out of a funk!  The day after a holiday in the middle of the week … new month, new year … and about six inches of freshly fallen snow on the ground.  Which would be wonderful if it was a Saturday morning … but it's a Thursday and there's the commute to work, the traffic, the sidewalks … and the looming headache that hangs overhead due to the storm. How can I turn this day around?  Get out of the funk!!! 1.  Best way I know how to get out of a funk is GET OUTSIDE!  Go for a walk, breathe in fresh air, clear your mind. 2.  Run.  Headphones on. Lose yourself in the music.  Run. Fast…. on the treadmill. 3.  Say a prayer.  Deep breath.  Meditate.  Stretch. 4.  Laugh!  Find a friend that makes you laugh, who knows you well, and carve out a few minutes with them. 5.  Read a book, take a shower, move, do something other than think about the funk …. I believe the key is knowing that you want to

As I begin the January blog posts, I challenge myself to continue the daily writing commitment and to remain disciplined in writing meaningful, honest passages.  The structure and outlet this has provided me for the past two full months has been a game-changer.  So am much as the New Year is about new challenges and resolutions, I am committing to continue what has been working!  The writing, the meditation and the prayer. 2014 feels big to me.  Big in a way that I haven't wrapped my arms around yet.  Full of possibility, full of change and restructure and overwhelming joy … wow, that's kinda big, huh?  Yes, that's exactly what it feels like to me.  And I can't wait to enjoy each moment of it. The year promises to be full of people that mean the most as well as quiet time to refill my personal energy bucket.  As I type I'm putting plans in motion to reconnect with old friends - some in groups and some one on one - to ensure I begin the year with a renewed co