Run, Laugh, Eat, Repeat

When I read this post yesterday on finding joy , I was overwhelmed with emotion and tears ran down my face.  At the time I didn't consider it a miracle, but an overwhelming connection with moms and the daily challenges we collectively face. The raw emotion that she shared and was able to convey was overwhelming to me.  And as I continued to read I realized that I am part of a much larger community that face the same laughter and tears on a daily basis.  It connected me to something much greater than myself, my family, my familiarity … it connected me to my ability to parent. It brought to me a place of understanding, compassion and community.  It brought me a sense of peace that I am not alone, and I'll never be alone in this place we call parenting.  And that brought a sense of relief ... Here's a link to that post: this is what moms need to remember

Sunday we celebrated the feast of the Holy Family at church.  I'll admit I was rather crabby when we got there - it nearly took an act of Congress to get my family out the door.  "Are we going to church this morning?"  "It's Sunday isn't it?  YES We're GOING!"  Which is not a question asked infrequently over the course of the last several weeks … And perhaps figuring into the frustration of the morning is today is the sixth day of us all being home together.  And not on what I'd call a vacation … not with the constant picking up after them, meal planning - preparing - serving - cleaning up … oh and then there's the lack of quiet from the televisions!  Shall I go on?  I think not.  It's time for a change, isn't it. And then there's the thought of going back to work this week.  That thought is not being met with overwhelming feelings of longing either … Honestly I'm just not ready to begin again with a sense of renewed e

I've been fortunate to be able to find a miracle every day during the month of December.  As I record them the day after they occurred, yesterday marked twenty-eight days - in a row.  That's quite a feat, if I do say so myself.  And to honest, some days have been harder than others.  Is that because I didn't look hard enough, or because I was supposed to look harder.  Or that in the end the miracle was quiet and subtle - only revealing itself in my reflection back on the day …. In any event, I've been able to record one for each day during the month of December.  And this practice has taught me things I didn't realize about myself.  I'm known for my optimism, and finding the bright spot or the opportunity for learning in what comes my way, that much I knew.  What I learned was deeper than that.  Seems when I chose to focus finding a miracle and shared it within my circle, they too, were focused on the miracle … weird, huh? In a way that was part of the m

I have always believed that one should have friends who are both older and younger, male and female as well as near and far.  The diversity of these friends provides perspective and offers a wide variety of opinions and resources.  These are the friendships that I seek.  These are the friends that I value and have grown to depend on, especially as I've moved twice in the last four years. One of these friendships is with a young woman I met about a year and a half ago after our move to Illinois.  She's nearly twenty years younger than me, meaning I could almost be her mom, yet we seems to fit together like hand to glove.  We worked together for a short time and then she was promoted and moved to my hometown!  Wow, talk about fate! We then became even closer as she prepared to move, and consequently made trips back and forth.  Her 'home' is where I live, and my 'home' is where she currently lives.  Unique set of circumstances, huh? We have been fortunate

My daughter and I have kept up our walking routine each day now.  Moving from 1 mile one day, to two walks in a day - one of 1mile and the second of 2 miles.  She's starting to jog just a bit, and really getting a good feel from being outside in the air!  We talk about places we'd like to see, things we'd like to do, the sights along the way .. and most importantly the great feeling we get when we're outside! And at one point during a 2-mile walk she said, "I'm tired."  So I used that opportunity to remind her that her body wasn't tired, but her brain was playing tricks on her.  That her body was very strong and resilient!  I reminded her she was strong and brave, and that I believed in her! She smiled broadly and picked up the pace.  And when she raced the last few hundred yards to the front porch she turned and smiled at me saying, "I finished strong Mommy!"  And she was so proud of herself, which is exactly what I had been hop

Christmas is one of those holidays that can be a huge letdown.  If you let it.  The frenzied, hustle and bustle that the entire season can bring are enough to trigger huge expectations and smaller wallets by the time the day arrives.  There is the presents, the parties, the food and drink - you name it - it's likely more, more, more. Unless you choose differently. This madness is particularly confusing for a child.  The frenzy has the ability to imprint expectations on them as well. This year was different from ones in the past for me.  My daughter was old enough to truly appreciate the lead-in to Christmas through several planned journeys.  The first was Advent where she reads an intention for the day from the calendar on the fridge - for example - 'say thank you to the person who makes your lunch," "teach something to someone younger than you," and "work on sharing today." She took those suggestions seriously and developed a strong sense of

As Christmas Eve is true to most magical part of the holiday for me, I was thrilled to find miracles throughout the day and well into the night … The earliest part of the day required me to attend to work-related tasks, while continually redirecting my daughter to keep herself occupied so I could finish up.  I wasn't particularly successful, which caused frustration on both our parts.  And then realized it was a day that I skipped lunch, and that was a huge mistake! So as the day progress I knew I couldn't work in a run due to timing of the afternoon events, and became even more frustrated.  I then used this as an opportunity to teach my daughter a way to change your mood. "Let's go for a walk!" I said to her.  "Grab your coat, hat, scarf and gloves.  We're going out!"  And she was game.  We walked just over a mile in the freezing cold wind of the Midwest.  Yet in those moments that we talked and walked we found something … a better mood!

There are times when I don't like waiting.  Wait, there is no time that I like to wait.  One might say I'm impatient.  I say it all the time about myself.  But I do believe that, "good things come to those who wait."  And isn't that what the season of Advent teaches us .. the patience, the anticipation for what is to come? There is a miracle in waiting.  Not just the fact that I'm able to wait, but in the fact of what the waiting brings …  and boy, does it provide great return. The miracle is in the reminding myself that although patience is not my strong suit, it is absolutely worth it … for several reasons.  The first of which is relieving myself the stress of worrying while waiting!  Secondly is the amazing discovery of what is to come, on its own time! Miracles!

Well that's a headline that you don't see everyday, do you?  I certainly don't.  And yet, in the last several weeks I began to realize that many of the people in my life that make the biggest different to me - thus creating miracles - I met in the '80's!  WOW!  Who knew I would look back on that decade with such gratitude. The '80's brought great loves to my life.  A future husband, who later became a great teacher before he passed away, and several amazing men who have taught me the power of love that endures over decades.  There are a chosen few who will always have a piece of my heart.  We have a shared history, that has grown into love and respect over the last several decades. That kind of endurance is a miracle! These are the relationships that help me see inside myself.  They remind me the value of building strong relationships.  In addition, there is an element that needs to exist to evolve  them.  Acceptance of what was and the ability to

Saturday was a day that I recalled muscle memory from the past .. and you can count on that being a miracle on several counts for me.  I ran today.  I ran today for the first time in several months.  It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Seems like more should be sore, and yet muscles have a memory too. They recalled what it feels like to be pushed .. and to respond.  And for that I'm very grateful.  I ran three miles that were easier than I thought. And I look forward to continuing to pursue these miles.  I also have a memory of what it feels like to be running regularly.  It feels healthy - sleeping better, physically feeling better.  And that memory is something I want to make a reality so that it becomes more than a memory. Which is the entire reason for starting this blog - accountability for me to run regularly and regain my health.  It has turned into so much more.  A miracle of sorts.  It's allowed me to build a muscle for my writing .. and how to com

This journey of finding a miracle for each day during the month of December has come with a different set of challenges than I anticipated.  Many questions have surfaced ... What is a miracle? Will it be miraculous enough to make note of? Does it really matter if I find one today? Will it always involve people, and how my relationships continue to amaze me? These miracles have become a thread that runs through the season, weaving people into sustainable relationships.  And isn't that the only thing that really matters? Yesterday I found myself in a cranky, overtired, vulnerable and although I hate to admit it, in a paranoid and fearful space.  When communication with a person, rather important to me, didn't transpire the way I wanted I became defensive and went into assuming mode.  I recognized the behavior and knew I had to find a coping technique. I drank water, no more coffee.  I had something to eat.  I found a friend who could make me laugh.  And then I rest

Music is a huge part of my life .. I use it to change a mood, celebrate an event, or ease my mind … I always have it with me .. the car, the house, on my phone with ear buds.  I run with it, I walk with it, I LIVE with it! Music is my miracle. That miracle occurred in a couple ways on Thursday .. I discovered a new song that is haunting me.  Say Something.  And through the process of downloading it I discovered contestants on X Factor who had covered it.  Which made me go back to those contestants and listen to more music.  And realize how amazingly good they really are … and on my way to work this morning heard that they won the X Factor just last night!  Wow, that's amazingly coincidental, right? No, it's a miracle.  My miracle. I can't wait to go back and watch all the performances that led them to that point. I couldn't last night because I was at my daughter's Christmas concert.  Which in and of itself is a downright miracle.  Ask Mr. Myer the music

As I've shared throughout the month about how I've shared my quest to find a miracle every day during the month of December with those in my closest circle.  Yesterday was the pinnacle of that sharing. The relationships I build are what fill me up inside.  The interaction with others is what, I believe, we were put on this earth to cultivate.  So yesterday when someone approached me to ask if they could forward an email invite to a meeting unexpectedly, a friend said, "I think I just witnessed one of your Christmas miracles!" So go back a few months and this one of the resources in my work that struggled to understand what role I played and was intentional about leaving me out of meetings, and not sharing information.  So this genuine change of heart was so amazing! Sometimes it's not about the actual miracle.  But the joy that comes from looking for them on a daily basis.  And now that it's spread to others recognizing them I feel as though it has t

I had a friend ask me Tuesday how I was dealing with the stress of work in addition to all the activities leading up to Christmas.  He was having a hard time and had noticed I didn't appear stressed.  I explained that I had let my foot off the gas.  Not quite coasting but not be fixated on the end result.  I was enjoying the ride, if you will. This was not me, he said.  I like to be driving the results, taking charge of rallying the troops.  I explained that it was time for me to help others drive.  My time would come again.  I was letting go of the outcome. And I sleep better at night, I am a better mom and friend and I am enjoying the ride.  What a difference a change of perspective can do for the overall demeanor!  He was quite surprised by the advice - coming from me, but thought he'd give it a try to see if he could make that strategy work for him I explained the stress doesn't go away, it's managed.  Just like everything else.  Deadlines, pressure, holid

In thinking back on the posts from the past several weeks I'm taking a moment to pause.  In thinking back on the motivation for the December posts I go back to the origination of the idea.  When I think of December, I consider it the month of miracles … the real ones, the big ones … the baby born in the manger, the oil that burned for 8 nights and light returning after the darkest, longest night of the year. In my personal quest to savor the month and the anticipation of Christmas, I set out on a mission to find a miracle each day - and to write about it the following day.  It has been an amazing journey so far .. and today is only the 17th!  Its helped me focus on the season, kindness and finding the good in people.  I've shared my mission with many friends - who sometimes stop to ask, 'hey, what was today's miracle?"  I think they're enjoying my journey too. Yesterday an old and dear friend reached out from Virginia to ask me to help her niece, a coll

On a Sunday it seems fitting to have the miracle of community present itself to me .. and it did, in multiple ways.  As described yesterday we had a winter storm overnight Friday into Saturday dropping just over six inches of snow!  Saturday was a clearing out day to get to the activities of a normal Saturday - especially 10 days before Christmas! Sunday was different.  There was the community of church that unites us in a common faith, a common worship and for me a common place once a week to come together as a family.  A family bigger than the two people I live with … and we talked about the anticipation of Christmas through the Advent season.  My daughter, at seven, is all in.  She believes in God, Santa, chocolate chip pancakes and the love of her parents to see her through anything.  She's a daily miracle - but on Sunday the entire community felt supportive and united in the same feeling. As we went home there were more families that had ventured outside to enjoy the w

For the past several weeks an old friend has been on my mind.  Mainly as a passing thought .. but this niggling of wonder that kept creeping up.  Mind you, this is a friend I haven't been in contact with for over twenty-five years.  We knew each other for a summer between years of college when I was waiting tables at a resort in upstate NY. I'd recently reconnected with another former summer employee, Tim, through Facebook and talked about our families and exchanged a note about how life had 'turned out'.  At that time it reminded me so strongly of a mutual friend Ed, and that's likely the reason he kept coming to mind … but the thought was still there days and weeks later. So on a random Saturday morning, in the middle of bundling up to go out and conquer the arrival of six inches of snow .. I sent him a note.  I wasn't sure he'd even remember me, yet I wanted to reach out to say I'd connected with Tim recently and he came to mind.  To wish hi

Imagine life as the Elf on a date with Barbie!  It's just that simple~ On my way into work yesterday, on a Friday morning, Friday the 13th for that matter … as I was going through the revolving, security doors I followed an optimist man carrying a huge bag of brightly wrapped presents in both hands.  And on his back was the traditional backpack in which we all carry our laptop and accessories each day. It made for quite a site! And once through the door he turned around to me with a grin, "I didn't even consider I wouldn't make it through that door!" I smiled back and said, "And you did it!" As we continued our walk onto the escalator he was still chuckling.  And I realized what would happen if I didn't always think about what were the consequences of something going wrong?  And I don't mean planning, preparing and being cautious when warranted. What I'm talking about it the optimism that comes with knowing you'll get thro

As I began my day yesterday I found I was without my computer as it was processing a required security update.  As I work in an environment without desks or offices, I rely heavily on that laptop as my means of information and communication.  When attending that first meeting of the day I felt a bit out of place without email to work or IM to attend to … so I waited for the meeting to begin with my notebook and pen. And I glanced out the window. We were on the fourth floor so I saw a huge expanse of blue sky.  And then I saw a small square shaped rainbow.  What?  A rainbow? I moved from my seat to ensure it wasn't a reflection based on the angle I was viewing.  Nope, it was a rainbow.  And then I noticed a break in the cloud from which this refraction of light was escaping. It was so unexpected, and so beautiful! As I sat and pondered how it got there, no rain, no arc .. just a patch of color…. I realized that it was a metaphor for the day.  It only takes a small cr

As the year comes to an end, I find the current work I'm in also ending in a way by morphing and evolving into something new.  It will take on new associates to understand the current project in order to move it forward.  This is a time of great patience on both sides and usually some compromise.  Sounds a bit like a marriage, doesn't it? Since it's more than just two people I tend to think of it as the community of people who are participating in the hand-off of sorts. During one such meeting yesterday to familiarize more people with the work there was much resistance and confusion.  Those of us in the understanding part did our very best to exhibit patience and continuity in explaining it. It was a coming together of sorts. Let's back up four months.  Those same people that are all on the same side of 'giving' the work to the next group were all in their own camps - resistant to coming together and many times resistant to me!  It felt like high schoo

Someone asked me yesterday how my mission to find a miracle each day during the month of December was going.  "Really well," I told them.  Honestly I wasn't given this assignment, I chose it.  I get to chose how I approach each day, how I interact with each person throughout the day and how I feel about my day when I put my head on my pillow each night. I choose. So yesterday I chose to be agreeable. And I said it outloud over and over.  When I was in conversation and something became challenging, I said, 'Well, since I'm focused on being agreeable today, this is what I think."  It became easier throughout the day. Did this make my day perfect?  Nope, far from it.  But that's not what I was looking for.  Do miracles make every thing perfect?  No, not really.  The baby born in the manager certainly didn't seem perfect to Mary and Joseph, or the stable owner or all those followers who trekked across the desert? To me, being agreeable was m

In my professional world I am known for my energy, enthusiasm and get-it-done attitude.  Yes, these are all great traits to have, and yet they sometimes get in my way of the desired end result.  I have found that over the last several weeks of meditation and prayer, I am calmer and more accepting of most situations. Yesterday my  miracle occurred during an ordinary meeting.  Many of the usual cast of characters around a big square shaped table on a conference call.  And the usual nay-sayer on the phone asking questions that we answered two months ago during the project.  This is normally the most frustrating thing in the world to me. Believe me I've tried lots of action plans here.  I've met with this person one-on-one to talk the project through, I've sent summarized meeting notes so that they are always caught up and I try, whenever possible, to show I'm supportive of this person's view and questions.  Not sure if any of that is working. Yesterday when t

Now there's a miracle. Who has time for faith? Well, honestly, who doesn't? Faith is in the moments of hanging on when all is falling apart.  Faith is in the moments with my hands wrapped around a coffee mug in the quiet of the beginning of the day.  Faith just is. At least it IS for me. Yesterday was Sunday, which has become our family's regular church day.  My husband and daughter have come to rely on it.  With my husband under the weather, and speaking of weather we'd had snow overnight … let's just say no one got moving quickly on Sunday morning and we didn't make it to church. With that brought a great opportunity to teach my daughter about Faith.  It began as a discussion about the season - we lit our own Advent candle and talked about anticipation and preparation. In the frenzy that Christmas normally brings, this year is different to me.  I've decided I'm not racing from store to store, not participating in any cookie exchanges

October 2013 at the Pumpkin patch As my journey to become a mother spans several decades and more detail than I'll share today, I consider the fact that I am mother to an amazing 7-year old daughter a true miracle.  Each day presents its rewarding and challenging aspects - but then again doesn't everything?! She is a spirited young lady with wit, charm and a shared love of laughter.  She's a great helper, hugger and truly an all-around kind-hearted person.  The miracle is in the fact that I've learned to pause long enough to truly enjoy her on a daily basis. Sometimes that enjoyment doesn't come in the grocery store or when I'm in a hurry to get out of the house.  Yet those are the moments that I need to remember most the miracle of motherhood.  This amazing child is learning and growing each day - right before my eyes. And last evening when we were reading our Advent story and she was snuggled in the chair with me, smelling of freshly-shampooed hair

Just an example of one of many skies that I see almost daily! When we moved to the mid-west two and a half years ago from central Virginia, many people said to us, 'but it's SO flat there! how will you live without the mountains?'  Although we love the ocean and the mountains, I have found the mid-west to be just gorgeous .. in many ways. Yes, the terrain is flat.  Yes, the fields are full of corn and soybeans.  And you know what else, there is an amazingly clear view for each sunrise and sunset.  Since arriving I've seen the most gorgeous views of the moon - full and even not-so-full - than ever before.  Without the land being flat, and unobstructed by hills and mountains we can see forever! And I love that. There is a miracle in the way the sky looks each morning as the sun rises.  Many people don't get to experience the pinks and oranges that we do on a daily basis.  And of those people, how many consider that sunrise a miracle.  It seems miraculous to

Timing is an interesting thing.  It's often out of our hands.  And when things come together - perfect timing - it is an amazing thing to watch.  Throw in the fact that I'm rather impatient, and its REALLY a miracle. Now my impatience is not generally in traffic or even most often with my daughter.  Its with myself and when my mind is made up I want to get to it NOW.  Whether that's work, home, play or otherwise. Yesterday two occasions with important men in my life reminded me the miracle of timing.  One of course was my husband, and one was my boss.  In both cases I'd spoken to them about something in the last couple weeks and they weren't ready to listen or make a decision. I've learned to let it lie there for a bit … And miracles happen. In the same day, both of them when asked differently completely agreed and met me more than halfway.  I love when a plan comes together. I need to continue to remind myself that things do not happen on my tim

I have a friend who is also a wife, mother, daughter, dedicated employee and above all a fiercely devoted friend.  She's my hero.  And, yet, I didn't always feel that way about her. Several months back we were involved in the same work and we were not understanding each other's point of view.  This was not an argument, this was a fundamental difference in the way we were approaching an ongoing situation.  I decided I needed her help.  And so I asked her for it.  I asked her to help me better understand her perspective and to provide any guidance she was able to with the other folks with her perspective.  You know what she did. She thanked me. And then after she provided some insight, she asked if I would help her with something, someone in fact. WOW! It felt like a breakthrough. We've since become close friends.  I admire her, and her ability to be candid and caring as well as intelligently speak her mind.  I've learned so much from her about trustin

On my drive to work this morning I encountered thick fog.  As I navigated the normally routine drive I thought about what a metaphor for life fog can be.  Take the fact that my drive is usually routine – the anticipated traffic in certain areas, the timing of traffic lights and familiar landscape along the way.  All that changes in the fog.  It causes us to use caution when our sight is limited.  We can only see so far up ahead, and have to trust our instincts – and cautiously at that.   When the path ahead is either not yet determined or appears different to us, it’s like being in the fog.  It’s time to trust what we know to be true and believe in our ability to get through it.  Get through the fog, the uncertainty, the challenge of the moment.  I believe in trusting your gut.  It’s a terrific barometer of what we know to be true, and what might be lurking ahead that should give us pause.   Fog causes us to question what we trust, and know to be true.  Sometimes only to f

So who would have thought that looking for miracles was hard?  Of course, I did!  And that's just on Day 2 of my own personal journey … and yet that which is hard makes the outcome so much sweeter on the other side. Now, I'm not looking for something so overwhelming that I want to give up, yet I want there to be something to be felt through out the day that I am truly on the lookout for the unexpected, the magic and anticipation that come with something wonderful. I realize that my perception of a miracle may not align with someone else's interpretation, and that's okay too.  What I want is to continue to believe and anticipate that a miracle is just around the corner. Yesterday's miracle is not one that I will write about.  It was a situation that I handled with grace, dignity and my head held high.  The miracle is that I have not been able to do that in the past each time I encounter this challenge.  Of course it involves another person, and a pattern of

In my quest to find a miracle each day, I shared my mission with my husband on Sunday morning.  Knowing that Sunday was December 1st, start of a new month, the first day of Advent and a Sunday made it quiet a miraculous event for me. So sitting in church between my husband and daughter, listening to her say her prayers and practice the hymns I felt incredibly blessed and grateful.  It was a very peaceful morning, and as during one of the quiet moments I leaned over to my husband and said, "its only fitting that you are the first miracle." He smiled and said, 'isn't that cheating?" "No," I said, 'you were the turning point when life changed for me.  I consider what you and I have  - to be a miracle!" Not wanting to keep talking in church, he smiled again and nodded his head in a gesture of agreement. I often say I must have really paid my dues along the way to be able to stay married to a man like my husband.  No, he's not perf

photo credit:   http://marcestes.com/2011/02/11/miracles-the-need-for-the-hour/ In the tradition of continuing the commitment to writing each day, I am beginning the month of December as I have for many years…. with a passage from Simple Abundance about December. "December's gifts - custom, ceremony, celebration, consecration - come to us wrapped up, not in tissue and ribbons, but in cherished memories.  This is the month of miracles.  The oil that burns for eight days, the royal son born in a stable, the inexplicable return of Light on the longest, darkest night of the year.  Where there is Love, there are always miracles.  And where there are miracles, there is great joy. Gratefully, we weave the golden thread of .. joy in our tapestry of contentment.  At last we embrace the miracle of authenticity, changing forever how we view ourselves.  Our daily round.  Our dreams.  Our destinies.  Days we once called common, we now call holy." In celebration of December an