Skip to main content

Day 20: My First Concert

http://www.luthervandross.com/news/great-luther-vandross-deals-amazon-today-only
photo credit:  luthervandross.com

As today is the 20th of November, it is also Day 20 of Blogember challenge to blog each day during the month of November.

When I think back to my teenage years I recall many concerts that I attended at the amphitheater in the hometown I grew up in - SPAC (Saratoga Performing Arts Center).  As I recall the first one was likely Foreigner .. not particularly memorable.  And there were lots more in the late 70's and through the mid-80's…. The Cars, Asia, Brian Adams, Journey, Doobie Brothers, Jimmy Buffet ….

And yet today the memories rattling round my brain are of a different kind.  Today would have been a dear, old friend's 50th birthday .. he died a few years ago at age 47 due to liver failure.  He and I were married nearly 9 years, and then apart 10 years before he died.

The most memorable concerts I attended were with him.  We saw Luther Vandross together several times - big venue, small venue - each time better than the time before.  He had introduced me to Luther when I first moved in with him - by playing A House is Not a Home.

Seems looking back that life was simpler then.  Although I wouldn't have thought so at that time.  There are many reasons to remember what worked, what didn't work and why things stopped working.  I'd like to think I learned a great deal from our time together.  What I'm most proud of is that I loved with my whole heart.  And when it didn't work any more - we grew to want different things - I was able to stand up and say so.  And then I began again.

We were in touch in the last 18 months of his life.  The best gift he ever gave me was to reach out and connect with me after two big losses in his life.  I lived 900 miles away and had a family of my own - so there was no 'ask' of me.  He wanted to make peace with me.  We were able to recognize through a series of emails that we didn't hurt anymore.  We apologized to each other, and wished each other well. The last email I got from him said, 'enjoy your family…'.  And I do! Very much.  I cherish my husband and daughter - each day.

Today I'll listen to Luther and remember … the concerts, the man who was so important a lifetime ago, and the memories attached to each.  Thank you for making those memories with me.  And allowing me to move on to a new life.

It's like that was the first concert for me.  And now the rest of the tour continues ...

Comments

  1. Mary LongNovember 21, 2013 at 10:57 AM

    What a beautiful tribute to your friend and your past. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JudeNovember 21, 2013 at 5:16 PM

      Thanks Mary! I've enjoyed reading your stories each day .. glad to get to know you through your writing too!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 25: A Love Letter

Perhaps this one is the most challenging blog of Blogember month … it's not about being clever or witty, being funny or entertaining.  This blog is a love letter to myself….. Dear Jude, In thinking of all the wonderful things I appreciate about you, what comes to mind immediately is your fierce devotion to your family and close friends.  I love that you find ways to comfort, surprise and endear them to you with thoughtful notes, conversations and the occasional, "I saw this and I thought of you," gifts. As you dedicate yourself to ensuring your family is well taken care of and always feels loved, you are an incredible mom.  You refer to yourself as an 'intentional' parent - with the way you help your daughter see the lessons in the good and the painful, remind her of her kind and caring heart from which to make decisions and the playful nature you allow to escape showing her how much fun life really is. Part of your nurturing nature has allowed you to
2 comments
Read more

Day 16: Six Word Memoir

"Thought about stopping, then ran harder." Day 16 for the Blogember challenge is a 6-word memoir. I could substitute 'ran' for 'tried' almost every day.  Even if for just a brief moment I am paralyzed with fear, confusion, doubt - I press on.  And that is the very best time …. knowing that I still have the power within me to continue to 'fight'. This can be a physical challenge, emotional challenge or just what appears to be a mountain of work to overcome…. whatever it is, if I choose to find a way through it, rather than around it - I'm successful. Happened again this week at work - and my husband reminded me last night.  Why did you let it get you down for two days when you knew they best way to solve it was head-on, with a direct conversation?  He's right.  But I'm not successful with the conversation until I'm mentally prepared to have it.  And yesterday I did.   That's my mantra.  For running, and for l
2 comments
Read more

Goal Setting and Success!

Today was a winning day for me.  I am closer to my goals than ever before.  As you may recall I set three goals for myself involving weight loss, successful professional accreditation and promotion.  I have officially lost 4.5 pounds since April 1st, and today passed another part of the designation making be exactly halfway complete! This is a huge accomplishment for me!  I've sacrificed and put the time in to set myself up to succeed.  Each step is not always forward, but I do keep moving. My husband said to me tonight after work (and finding out I passed another part).  "I really admire your determination to keep going.  I would have quit long ago.  But not you.  You didn't let it get you down." That truly means the world, not that he sees me as successfully passing, but that success has not come easily.  And I refused to be defined by it.  I am driven, determined and downright stubborn when it comes to going after something I want. Tonight I cele
2 comments
Read more