Skip to main content

Where has self-doubt taken over?



Is there a place in my life where self-doubt has taken over?  Perhaps not taken over but continues to rear it's ugly head and cause discomfort?  Not an uninteresting question, that's for sure.

Self-doubt.

My inability to be confident in me being enough.  My being accepted.

From the opposite side of that coin is - not being enough and not being accepted.  Those are so scary to think about - and yet I'm pretty sure it's what holds me back from opportunities, conversations and perhaps even joy.

It's fear.  Isn't that what self-doubt is .. fear of not being viewed as I see myself.  And yet when does the rest of the world no longer matter?  As it is likely that everyone must be challenged in some way or another with this self-doubt.

How can I work through being enough?  Who am I afraid I am not enough for?  Does that person/people matter?  Will that change my behavior?  Make me want to do things differently?  To be honest, 'no' it won't.

So if I continue to hone skills of resourcefulness and self-love - I'm pretty sure I can overcome this.

Will set my wheels in motion to find ways to practice self-love.  One of the activities from the Blogember activities was write yourself a love letter.  And my centered around I am enough!  Hmmm.  I should go re-read that one and make sure I understand and believe it!

I am enough!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Day 19: My first job

Memories of my childhood bakery with a cannoli …. As this roller coaster ride of emotions and outpouring continues on Day 19 challenge to blog each day in the month of November for Blogember I recall my first job. I often say that when we recall the past, things that appear to have gone on forever, are often relatively short in the grand scheme of things.  After my dad passed away when I was 8, my mom remarried a year later.  By the time I was 10 they went into business together opening a neighborhood Italian bakery on the west side of the town I grew up in. This was long before the days of Carlo's Bakery where cakes cost hundreds, even thousands of dollars. A bakery was a lot of hours and energy for very little profit back then.  To that end, I was cheap labor and was trained to bag rolls and make change at the cash register.  In retrospect it talk me a lot about customer service, the value of relationships in returning customers and how running a family b...

How to get out of an EPIC funk!

This morning I woke to a funk.  Yes, mine.  Reasons to me were relatively clear.  Relationships in my life that are not working.  Lingering fear.  Dissatisfaction in my primary relationship.  To be honest seems like the same stuff that's been hanging on for the last six months. Today felt heavy.  Too heavy for a holiday. How do I push through it?  Cause it seems that I'm unable to go around it. Again. A holiday means every one is home with me.  So solitude is not really the answer.  But writing is. So how did I get out of an epic funk this morning.  I got honest with myself.  And I cried.  Cause feelings hurt.  And people disappoint.  Yet somehow, someway life moves on. I got honest with myself by writing about it.  Detailing what was troubling me into this place and what I saw as the way out.  I gave myself permission to be honest.  Even though it wasn't simple or fascinating.  ...

Day 16: Six Word Memoir

"Thought about stopping, then ran harder." Day 16 for the Blogember challenge is a 6-word memoir. I could substitute 'ran' for 'tried' almost every day.  Even if for just a brief moment I am paralyzed with fear, confusion, doubt - I press on.  And that is the very best time …. knowing that I still have the power within me to continue to 'fight'. This can be a physical challenge, emotional challenge or just what appears to be a mountain of work to overcome…. whatever it is, if I choose to find a way through it, rather than around it - I'm successful. Happened again this week at work - and my husband reminded me last night.  Why did you let it get you down for two days when you knew they best way to solve it was head-on, with a direct conversation?  He's right.  But I'm not successful with the conversation until I'm mentally prepared to have it.  And yesterday I did.   That's my mantra.  For running, and for l...