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Expectations and Anxiety



When I am expecting something to happen, I experience anxiety.  This anxiety settles in my shoulders, in my chest and in my core.  I find I need to release that anxiety differently than I have in the past.  Sometimes a small prayer of thanks releases it.  Other times I need to meditate it out of my body.  Wise words were shared with me recently that explained anxiety as being attached to the future.  Being anxious about something that is going to happen.

When I bring myself back to the present, it helps release that anxiety by focusing on the present.  My breathing, being grateful, no expectations only gratitude for this moment.

And sometimes it really works.  It feels so much better than the pressure I put on my body in holding on to those emotions.  Wow!  Release … it feels like a miracle… the ability to send that anxiety off in its own little bubble… into the air.

Another way I find I'm able to center myself is by asking the question, "what's the worst thing that could happen if …?"  And usually it completely changes my perspective.  Sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks .. how could I have been anxious over something with so little outcome to where I am, what I have.  That is the gratitude place.

Without these moments of anxiety, I wouldn't know the true sense of gratitude and peace though.  It is like an analogy that compares opposites.  Through that anxiety I experience peace.

The real question is how can I experience peace, joy, gratitude differently and more fully in order to live there rather than redirect myself there.  Oh, isn't that the question.  It will all work out.  This too shall pass.  All valid solutions, I guess.  Yet, how can this moment hold that meaning without waiting for it to pass, or waiting for it to all work out.

I've learned through this recent meditation, if I focus on right now it calms the fear.  Because right this moment I'm breathing, I'm alive, I'm safe, I'm whole.

May I feel safe.
May I feel happy.
May I feel strong.
May I live with ease.

Brings me right back to that meditation.  And reminds me that I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.

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