Breathe In, Breathe Out

That was my mantra for quite a while. But that was many years ago. When I was plagued with anxiety and loneliness. I had myself convinced that the only thing within my control was my breath. And somehow that worked. I would repeat, "breathe in, breathe out," over and over. Reminding myself that was the only thing that mattered.

Isn't that strange?

Because you don't have to remind yourself to breathe! But by focusing there it allowed whatever anxiety was troubling me to settle down.

It still works. Although the anxiety is not the same. But it's still a good reminder for me to remember what is within my control.

I have a long list of things that are NOT within my control:

Timing
Other People
The weather
Flights being on time
The power going out

These are huge things to not be within my control. And yet somehow I manage. I'm still breathing, I'm still smiling. Funny how that works. But it does. Every. Time.

Things have a way of working themselves out. At least for me they do. Doesn't matter sometimes how much I cry, whine, pray or write about it. Things happen in their own time. And so do I. And I'm learning to use that time to my advantage. And allow things to work themselves out.

What matters is not giving up. Not giving in to the chaos. And there's always chaos. I usually don't have to look too far for it. When I breathe in, breathe out the chaos subsides. And when the chaos subsides, I smile easier.

And then the power going out isn't as bad as it seemed. And other people are just other people and I don't have to be involved in their drama. And there's always drama.

So I believe, for me, the best solution is to just keep breathing. Honestly, what's the alternative really?

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