Skip to main content

Vulnerability



Many words of encouragement have been shared with me as I embark upon this next leg of my journey.  Brave, courageous, fearless are the most positive ones people have mentioned.  Yet there are times throughout that I don't feel quite so strong.

Yesterday I watched a Brene Brown show on OWN and she spoke to the vulnerability of living.  In her book Daring Greatly she shares that vulnerability is the keystone to living a life more fully engaged.  This has been a practice that I've been living for several years now.  Mind you, this doesn't mean crying in public, but allowing myself to ask for help, to not have to shoulder the entire burden by 'pretending' to be strong.

I admit that this is scary.  I feel that this new adventure is unknown and with the excitement also comes fright.  By not allowing myself to live in a place of fear, but to feel the emotion and find ways to move through it have helped to feel more true to myself.

Vulnerable.

Yikes, that's a hard one, huh?  Feels weak, feels mushy.  But I'm learning that, to me, it has begun to mean honesty.  By acknowledging my vulnerability I don't feel exhausted from trying to be brave all the time.  It allows me to be honest, with myself most of all.

Goodbyes are hard.  Endings are hard.  And honestly, so are beginnings!  Just take the first step, right, isn't that what people say.  Sure, I'm willing to take the first step.  What comes next?  Acknowledging that this is scary and different.

There is a vulnerability in goodbye.  When done honestly it is a culmination of the entire experience punctuated by this ending.  Without it feeling traumatic, how can I use each goodbye to learn, to grow?

I've decided to fill my calendar with lunches and coffee chats for the next few weeks.  I've color coded them and they are sunny yellow.  Many hours to look forward to and mark time in my relationships.  I've also decided to write about each of those meetings.  I'll call it The Lunch Series.  To capture the words of wisdom from our lunch as well as all the person brought to my life during our time together.  It will help me be intentional with each meeting, as well as provide a written memory to keep as I move through all the changes.

Its allowing me to be vulnerable in the meetings.  And vulnerable in my writing.  And I will continue to move forward Daring Greatly!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to get out of an EPIC funk!

This morning I woke to a funk.  Yes, mine.  Reasons to me were relatively clear.  Relationships in my life that are not working.  Lingering fear.  Dissatisfaction in my primary relationship.  To be honest seems like the same stuff that's been hanging on for the last six months. Today felt heavy.  Too heavy for a holiday. How do I push through it?  Cause it seems that I'm unable to go around it. Again. A holiday means every one is home with me.  So solitude is not really the answer.  But writing is. So how did I get out of an epic funk this morning.  I got honest with myself.  And I cried.  Cause feelings hurt.  And people disappoint.  Yet somehow, someway life moves on. I got honest with myself by writing about it.  Detailing what was troubling me into this place and what I saw as the way out.  I gave myself permission to be honest.  Even though it wasn't simple or fascinating.  ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Be yourself

Sometimes things just hit me like out of the blue and I wonder why didn't I think of that sooner!?  And after the realization settles in I'm at such peace.  This has happened several times recently at work with all the lessons I've amassed over the last 8 months of a project that is coming to a close.  I honestly didn't realize that I learned so much, or that I was actually putting those lessons into action. I find that I evolve at an interesting rate.  Sometimes it feels as though nothing changes, and other times it's like I don't even remember how things used to be.  And all the while I've maintained that I just need to be myself.  Although I've changed over time through the lessons, the core of who I am remains the same. And that's a great feeling.  To not have to turn myself inside out to fit.  It not only allows me to be authentic, but feels so true deep inside.  I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I know how to say it as to...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 19: My first job

Memories of my childhood bakery with a cannoli …. As this roller coaster ride of emotions and outpouring continues on Day 19 challenge to blog each day in the month of November for Blogember I recall my first job. I often say that when we recall the past, things that appear to have gone on forever, are often relatively short in the grand scheme of things.  After my dad passed away when I was 8, my mom remarried a year later.  By the time I was 10 they went into business together opening a neighborhood Italian bakery on the west side of the town I grew up in. This was long before the days of Carlo's Bakery where cakes cost hundreds, even thousands of dollars. A bakery was a lot of hours and energy for very little profit back then.  To that end, I was cheap labor and was trained to bag rolls and make change at the cash register.  In retrospect it talk me a lot about customer service, the value of relationships in returning customers and how running a family b...
Post a Comment
Read more