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Be yourself

Sometimes things just hit me like out of the blue and I wonder why didn't I think of that sooner!?  And after the realization settles in I'm at such peace.  This has happened several times recently at work with all the lessons I've amassed over the last 8 months of a project that is coming to a close.  I honestly didn't realize that I learned so much, or that I was actually putting those lessons into action. I find that I evolve at an interesting rate.  Sometimes it feels as though nothing changes, and other times it's like I don't even remember how things used to be.  And all the while I've maintained that I just need to be myself.  Although I've changed over time through the lessons, the core of who I am remains the same. And that's a great feeling.  To not have to turn myself inside out to fit.  It not only allows me to be authentic, but feels so true deep inside.  I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I know how to say it as to...
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Day 19: My first job

Memories of my childhood bakery with a cannoli …. As this roller coaster ride of emotions and outpouring continues on Day 19 challenge to blog each day in the month of November for Blogember I recall my first job. I often say that when we recall the past, things that appear to have gone on forever, are often relatively short in the grand scheme of things.  After my dad passed away when I was 8, my mom remarried a year later.  By the time I was 10 they went into business together opening a neighborhood Italian bakery on the west side of the town I grew up in. This was long before the days of Carlo's Bakery where cakes cost hundreds, even thousands of dollars. A bakery was a lot of hours and energy for very little profit back then.  To that end, I was cheap labor and was trained to bag rolls and make change at the cash register.  In retrospect it talk me a lot about customer service, the value of relationships in returning customers and how running a family b...
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How to get out of an EPIC funk!

This morning I woke to a funk.  Yes, mine.  Reasons to me were relatively clear.  Relationships in my life that are not working.  Lingering fear.  Dissatisfaction in my primary relationship.  To be honest seems like the same stuff that's been hanging on for the last six months. Today felt heavy.  Too heavy for a holiday. How do I push through it?  Cause it seems that I'm unable to go around it. Again. A holiday means every one is home with me.  So solitude is not really the answer.  But writing is. So how did I get out of an epic funk this morning.  I got honest with myself.  And I cried.  Cause feelings hurt.  And people disappoint.  Yet somehow, someway life moves on. I got honest with myself by writing about it.  Detailing what was troubling me into this place and what I saw as the way out.  I gave myself permission to be honest.  Even though it wasn't simple or fascinating.  ...
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